About 2 months ago, when i found out my big brother Seth was moving to California, a very wise friend of mine gave me this verse to reflect on. At the time my mind was racing, i didn't want my brother to move, i didn't want to be separated from him once again, and i didn't want the "new normal" i have come to love to change once again. The past 7 years have been a rollercoaster of abnormal, trials have swarmed all around, but yet i have learned that after each trial passes there is a calm. Well, the last trial had passed about a year ago and i was ready for the calm. I wouldn't call my brother moving to California a trial, i would call it more of a bump in the road, and a big change. Little did i know that know 2 months later, i am sitting here reflecting on this verse from Matthew 20. I thought it was to get me through Seth moving away, but God had a different plan yet again, i am sitting here tonight reflecting on this very special verse and reminding myself of its truth in my own trials.
I know i haven't updated in a few weeks, and we will get to the main reason in a little bit, but first a bit of an update is probably necessary.
My brother Seth is doing very well in California, he has reconnected with some old friends, is doing a wonderful job at work, and although sometimes he has a rough day or a rough few days, for the most part he is doing really well. I miss him everday, and im saving my money to go visit next spring break!
My grandma is doing well also...we're in week 11 in OSU medical center. She has had 5 surgeries but is finally starting to regain some health. She is on a smaller trache, and being tube fed. We are looking for a rehab facility to place her in in the next couple weeks. The Lord truly has his arms wrapped around my little peanut of a grandma, she is a fighter!
We figured out what is wrong with my eye. Apparently i have a neurological problem, and my eyes don't work together. I can't see 3D like with the 3D glasses and so they knew that was a big problem. He looked at my eyes for a very long time and we came up with a solution that i will wear these patches on my eyes for just 1 hour each day, switching the patch on each eye each day. I was very relieved i didn't need surgery. He said it wasn't so much another eye muscle issue, but rather my eyes and my brain get confused i guess.
Like i may have mentioned a few weeks ago, i have been having a lot of difficulty with my legs. They hurt all the time, i have trouble walking, running, and they even hurt when im sitting and laying down. I went to a couple specialists and we haven't figured out what is exactly wrong yet. On wednesday i went to a rheumatologist & they decided to get a lot of bloodwork and xrays. I was really worried because they had to test for cancer and scary things. All the testing came back alright except the 2 tests that checked my kidneys. When i was really little i had trouble with my kidneys, so we have to find out monday if i need to see a specialist. We get the xray results for my legs back on monday too. I was so relieved that my white counts were okay and all that, i am a little bit worried about my kidneys but i know that it is nothing that i cannot handle. The Lord will never give me more than i can deal with, so i know everything will be okay!
So many amazing people have been lifting me up in prayer over the past few weeks. I am just not feeling like myself, and i am anxious to feel better very soon! But thanks to everyone who has been praying!!! I feel the love. I know the Lord is in complete control, and there is no reason for me to be very afraid. He is with me ALWAYS to the very END!
Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,