Thursday, December 29, 2011

Our Dancing Song

so for my dad's christmas present i got him a record player...but i also wrote him this song & then recorded it for him...its pretty personal. the first verse describes a dance recital i was in when i was 5, and he was in it with me. the second is my senior prom. the chorus, basically when i was little my dad and i always dance around the house, to james taylor, van morrison, all those guys, and so its a picture of my childhood. the last verse describes what is to come (if it is in God's will for my life that is) i guess we will just wait and see...but here are the lyrics!

Our Dancing Song

i'm in a red tutu
you're in a black suit
dancing me 'round on the tops of your feet
oh daddy, its you and me


i'm in my prom dress
you're on the stairs stressed
waving goodbye to my handsome date and i
oh daddy, i wont be home late


(chorus)
so lets dance the night away
just you and me
sway me back and forth
twirl me around
i wont ever get bored
cause with you daddy i would dance
all night long
& this is our dancing song


i'm in a lace gown
your smiles upside down
he promises that he'll take good care of me
oh daddy, just wait and see



so lets dance the night away
just you and me 
sway me back and forth
twirl me around
i wont ever get bored
cause with you daddy i would dance
all night long
& this is our dancing song

Words: Shelby Elyse Taylor
Music: Alexis Rosen & Shelby Elyse Taylor 

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Hope is the Soul of the Dreamer & Heaven Is The Home of my God

 So as i wrote in my last post, i have been having headaches...its been a consistent one for about 3.5 weeks now, in the back of my head, same place where it was when i got my tumor diagnosis.

 So yesterday i went to the Neurologist, i went by myself because i wanted to be a "big girl" and i told mom and dad "i'm 20 years old, i can do this" well, that was probably the first mistake. So i got there, they weighed me, measured me, i lost some pounds since my visit last year, so that made me happy & i haven't grown haha but i mean thats no suprise! Well the nurse finished everything, i signed all the papers, then i sat in the little room, all by myself and a few minutes later the doc game in. All perky and pediatric like, with his Shrek tie and black suspenders, and he said "no mom?" and i said "no dr. enlow, i'm 20 now, i can do this!" he just smiled and began to ask all the normal questions, then he had be hop up on the table.

I sat there, he looked in my throat, listened to my heart ( i quietly reminded him that i have a murmur, he always forgets, and i always remind him or else he panics & wants to send me right up to cardiology haha ) then he looked in my eyes with his little light, first my left, then my right, then my left again, then my right again, he did this for a while. I began to get a little panicy inside and then said "is there fluid? do you see anything weird?" because of the position of my tumor if it is growing i get fluid build up and become hydrosephalic and usually you can tell my looking in my eyes. He just looked at me and said, "i dont see anything crazy but i think we should do an MRI just to be safe", he explained that he couldnt say if the tumor was growing or not without a scan. I at this point was thinking to myself "i am a total idiot, i shouldnt have wanted to be a grown up, mom should have come" Then he had me track his finger with my eyes, and he noticed they were turning in, and i had to remind him i see the opthamologist for that and not to worry haha.

 I hopped down off the table and he started writing, writing writing and more writing, then he handed me my prescription refill for my meds, the script for the MRI and my paperwork from the day. As i looked at the MRI papers he circled "Pregnancy Test" i laughed and said "oh dr. enlow i'm not pregnant...i promise i am a pure little person!" and he said i needed to have one anyways...i guess he doenst understand that i mean im like the purest little person ever, like if i was pregnant it would be the second birth of Christ. hahah so that was a giggle to my gloomy day...but i still have to pee on a stick today i guess...whatever.

 So today i have my MRI ... at 2:15 at Akron Childrens... he wanted it asap, and i am glad, i just wanna know...if it is bad news they will ask us to go sit in the waiting room, if it is good news we will get to go home and we'll get a phone call...i've been through this, i know doctor speak!

So for now i realize God is in control, He is a Healer, He will NEVER leave me, He promises to never give me more than i can handle & i find peace in those things. The Lord just may have another plan in store for me right now than i was expecting, but we shall see. Thanks to everyone who is praying! it is appreciated!

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse Taylor

Monday, November 21, 2011

a giant update from the tiny taylor

 The past few months have been what i would call adventurous. Everything has been new, most things have been great, while others have been not so great. But with every adventure there is bound to be room for a little failure, or even a little disappointment.
 Last ya'll heard i was extremely sick still. Since then i have begun taking lots of vitamins and supplements, conquered my detox, found out what foods i'm allergic to ( soy & wheat ) began a completely gluten free diet, and just tried to get healthy again. Well, the fevers stopped, i am not as weak or exhausted as i had been, no more stomache issues really, except for the occasion incident when i eat something i know i shouldnt, and i'm actually strong & what i would consider healthy for the first time in a very very long time. It is a complete answer to prayer, and i just wanna say thanks to everyone who has been praying, it was a rough summer and fall, but i think that now the new year will bring room for many great things with my healthy body!
 A little bit about Celiac Disease...basically i can't eat anything that has gluten in it, so that means any product that has any kind of flour, wheat, rye, oat, they are all out. So thats no bread, crackers, cookies, cake, dough, any rolls, breakfast cereals, all the stuff that has flour in it is out. and i mean out. If i do eat them i usually spike a fever and then ya know im extremely sick for days...it is not fun at all. But i have found alternatives and many restaurants offer G-Free menu's now :)
 Second, school. I switched from Kent State to the University of Akron, and this was a wonderful decision. I am in Akron's culinary/hospitality managment program and i am absolutely loving it. My favorite part is probably my Food Prep class, it is very hands on and that is one of my learning strengths. I am what you would call a kinestetic learner, i learn best when i can be actively doing something or touching something. To me, learning about food is absolutely magical. Each week we learn so many new techniques and recipes & i just really feel like i am in the right spot.
 Another praise is that i made a really good friend in my class. Her name is Meghan, she is a Christian & in my same program. We get along great, and she is a complete answer to prayer. I prayed every day for the first few weeks that there would just be someone in my major that truly loved the Lord and could be a true friend...then one day i was talking with Meghan about my small group and she flipped and was in one too & we were instantly friends. All i can say about that one is, the Lord hears our prayers! Sometimes it just takes a moment for him to respond, so be patient!
 The Family is doing wonderfully! Dad and Mom are both doing well, both still working, both still embarassing me all the time. Jordyn, Mark & Malakai are great! Malakai turns 1 the day after Thanksgiving & we are so excited! The theme is The Very Hungry Caterpillar, so that should be awesome! I'm making the cake of course! :) We call Malakai "Bean" i'm not sure where it came from, but i love it, and love him! Seth is well also, he is living in California and his soccer team that he coaches is going to Nationals in Florida next week, so i'd say he's living the life! I miss him most every day...its hard having your big brother live way across the country...it seems like another country.

I do have one Prayer Request ... as most of you know, last fall we got the news that my brain tumor was considered stable, well i have had a pretty bad headache for about 2 weeks now, and i am just a little worried. I told mama and dad about it a few days ago finally because i didnt want to worry anybody, but we have to be cautious. So i am going to the eye doctor probably this week to get my pressures checked and then hopefully get good news that everything is okay. I have peace in my heart that it is probably not mr. brain tumor, but i can not just assume, because these headaches are not fun. I've even been going to bed around 9 or 10, that never happens! haha. And if you are reading this, please dont panic, please dont start talking about it, i do not want any rumors spread, i am just solely asking for prayer that everything is okay! The Lord is in complete control & i find incredible peace in knowing that! "God is within her, she will NOT fall; He will help her at break of day!" Psalm 46:5 AMEN!

Alright, it's really late and this little lady has a big big week!

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse Taylor

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Even when i'm broken i will worship, even when i'm broken i will sing, even when i'm broken i will trust You, oh God, you are my King!

 A couple days ago i found out the reasons that i have not been feeling great the past few months. Some of the results did not suprise me, but some were shocking to say the least. As many of you know i have been battling sickness' most of my life, i've had everything you could ever imagine. But this past May my little body starting getting very sick, and has gotten worse and worse ever since.

 As most of you read, i got a million tests earlier this summer, testing everything from cancer to lupus, and parasites to weird bacterias, to ending up getting a colonoscopy and nothing really being found. This was all very hard to say the least, but nothing showed up, we were searching for an answer to the questions that seemed impossible to be answered. As time went on, my body just kept telling me, something isn't right and we had to get it figured out.

 I finally decided to go to a holistic/natureopathic doctor, and he did about a million tests on me, everything from hair folicle testing, to spit, testing food allergies, hormones, how my body is working, just everyhing, and on friday we sat down with him to discuss the results...okay hold onto your seats, by the end of this, your jaws will be on the ground.

 Okay so first, the food allergy testing only showed that i am only a little bit allergic to gluten, the others came back okay, but i still have to start this thing called the elimination diet, basically i take gluten, milk, egg and soy out of my diet for a few weeks and start adding them back in one by one to see if i get sick or not, to make sure the testing wasn't at fault.

Second, my adrenal glands have kinda slowed way down, and have decided they don't really want to work anymore. This isn't good because the adrenal glands kind of control everything in your body, keep everything in balance and i need them to function properly so i can be healthy and normal. so theres a thing in your adrenal glands and for normal people the levels are like 5 to 10 and mine is at a 2, which means its functioning but at a very slow rate. i am starting a supplement to get those back on track

Third, my body has decided that it doensn't want to help make probiotics anymore, those are the healthy bacteria that your body needs....i think...hahah i can't remember all the details. but anyways, because i have always been so sick and have taken so many antibiotics to fight off infections and such, the probiotics that my body is supposed to be producing have decided to take a little vacation, i dont know where they are, but if it's sunny i'd like to go visit, but until they get back i will be taking probiotic supplements.

 Fourth, they found strep and yeast in my stomache, now i'm not exactly sure what that means, but i do know it means infection, and since there is nothing to fight it off, and since my adrenal glands aren't functioning, and since my stomache has been the source of the problem, all these little infections are settling in my tummy for now, i guess it must be nice in there, because none of them seem to want to leave. Another thing is, they found this thing call saprophytic fungi, so i have some sort of other infection in my gut area and so hopefully with the probiotics and a few other things i'll mention later all of this will get undercontrol.

Fifth, theres this one immune system level, and i dont know exactly what its for other than it shows your health, and for a normal person its like 400-900, and mine was like 190, which means my immune system is just so low, and now really ready to battle anything.

Sixth, lastly...hahah kinda...there is this thing in your adrenal glands that is produced and it is called cortisol, and that is the thing that gets you up in the morning, gives you energy, and as the day goes on the level drops and by bedtime it should be low enough so you can sleep, well since my adrenal glands decided to take a nap, my levels are completely switched around, they are low in the morning and higher at night, which is like no wonder i wanna sleep all day and stay up all night, by body is completely confused and totally done fighting.

I'm going to be taking the probiotics for my body to help infection, a supplement to get my adrenal glands back on track, and then just a multivitamin type thing to help my body get enough nutrients, and no i dont just get to take one, i get to take these multiple times a day, such fun! Because basically due to all the infection, i'm not absorbing anything anymore. all my vitamin levels were extremely low & some weren't even on the charts.

I also will be starting a detox in about 2 weeks to try to rid my little sick system of all these horrible things, during that i will be taking all the normal vitamins plus like 6 or so other kinds because my body has finished fighting, it is worn out, and it needs some help to get back on track.

 In closing i would just like to share a few things. In no way do i write all this so everyone sits reads it, and is like "awww shelby im so sorry" no way at all, dont feel sorry for me, i write this because it's like my health diary, i write it so my family in other states or further can read it and know whats goin on, i write it because blogging is my release ( other than music) and i write because, if my story can help just one person in all the years i will do this, i will be fulfilled.

The past month or so i have been listening to the CD Broken Things by one of my favorite Christian artists Sarah Reeves, she is just so pure and easy to relate to that it is hard not to like her, well on one track all she does is read Psalm 139, and then halfway overtop she starts singing "cause even when i'm broken i will worship, even when i'm broken i will sing, even when i'm broken i will trust You, oh God, You are my King, You are FAITHFUL! YOU ARE FAITHFUL!" and there is just something about that, something about the power of the bible being spoken in such a pure manner and then her words singing over it. i will leave you with Psalm 139, read it, you wont be sorry.


Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
 You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
 You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
 You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
  Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
  For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
 Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
 They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 
 I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
 Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.


Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse 

Monday, August 8, 2011

the waiting game

it's been a month since i got my labs done for allergy testing and such...the results are in and we are scheduling an appt for early next week...i am waiting knowing the Lord is in complete control. The weeks drag on, the sickness lingers but my spirit remains greatful for what i do have.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

This is just a stop on the way to where i'm going, i'm not afraid because i know, this is my temporary home.

The past 3 and a half weeks have been extremely difficult. The weeks have been filled with countless doctor visits, blood draws, visits to the lab, days in bed, and consistent weakness, tiredness, and feeling all around horrible. I have been tested for everything from leukemia to lupus, a parasite to chrons disease to e-coli, every blood test has been run, all my counts have been counted, they have taken every sample possible, and still, no one knows what is wrong, the sickness that is attacking my weakened body is a mystery. And the mystery is beginning to really weigh on me. There are mornings when i wake up and i think to myself "why should i pray? we aren't going to find out anything today, so why bother?" but then i am reminded immediately of my life verse. Psalm 46:5. But this is beginning to really take a toll on this little body of mine. my veins have been poked so many times that by now they are in hiding, and my hands are bruised and scared. My stomache feels as though someone has taken a shredder to the insides of it, and my body has absolutely no energy. Most days i get up, go to work, and just push through the days, counting the minutes until i get to go home and rest, but a lot of days i have had to miss work. I keep getting fevers and no one knows why, nothing is normal, everything i eat makes me sick, and when i dont eat i get sicker.
 It all started about 3 and a half weeks ago, on a sunday night, i was at my friends house and a bunch of us were eating dinner, and i got a really bad stomache ache, i went home and got very sick that night, and missed the next day of work. Tuesday and wednesday i felt a little better, and then thursday morning i woke up sick again, i went to work and came home on my lunch break, then went back to work, well that night i got very very sick, alarmingly sick, and the next morning we went to the pediatrician, immediately he sent me to Childrens to get labs drawn, and from there we went. The next week i missed monday-thursday of work. My mom and dad left for vacation that wednesday ( mom didnt want to leave me home sick, but i made her ) and thursday i went to a gastroenterologist. ( My big sister jordyn drove up and took me)  He sent me to childrens for labs and we scheduled a colonoscopy. All the labs from both doctors came back fine, nothing was showing up.
 Yesterday i had my colonoscopy, and they found out a few things, some of which are a little embarassing and which i wont mention. hahaha!!!!! but...at least we found out what is kindaaa-wrong. I have to stop eating dairy, i can't have any foods with corn syrup in it, and we will go from there. I got medicine for the one problem too which is good. The one issue is, we dont know why i keep running fevers, so today i went back to the pediatrician, i have to start keeping a fever journal and log morning and night what my temp is, and see if we notice any patterns. I also have to start taking probiotic tablets to hopefully start helping my immune system.
On the way home from the doctor today we passed my old health food store called Cappabianca's...we used to go there all the time, and decided to stop in, i am going to get a consultaion with the owner, she is a Christian and she helps people with all kinds of problems get on eating plans and get their bodies back on track. I figure if a rhuemetologist, gastroenterologist, and pediatrian can't help me, maybe this lady can. :)
Hopefully within the next couple weeks or months we will have everything figured out...for now, i lean on my Heavenly Father...for He is the ONLY one who can truly heal.

The Lord is the everlasting God, 
The creator of all the Earth, 
He never grows weak or weary, 
No one can measure the depths of His understanding, 
He gives power to the weak, and strength to the powerless, 
Even youth will become weak and tired, 
And young men will fall in exhaustion, 
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength, 
They will soar high on wings like eagles, 
They will run and not grow weary, 
They will walk and not faint,
-Lincoln Brewster (Everlasting God)


Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,


Shelby Elyse 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

 About 2 months ago, when i found out my big brother Seth was moving to California, a very wise friend of mine gave me this verse to reflect on. At the time my mind was racing, i didn't want my brother to move, i didn't want to be separated from him once again, and i didn't want the "new normal" i have come to love to change once again. The past 7 years have been a rollercoaster of abnormal, trials have swarmed all around, but yet i have learned that after each trial passes there is a calm. Well, the last trial had passed about a year ago and i was ready for the calm. I wouldn't call my brother moving to California a trial, i would call it more of a bump in the road, and a big change. Little did i know that know 2 months later, i am sitting here reflecting on this verse from Matthew 20. I thought it was to get me through Seth moving away, but God had a different plan yet again, i am sitting here tonight reflecting on this very special verse and reminding myself of its truth in my own trials.

 I know i haven't updated in a few weeks, and we will get to the main reason in a little bit, but first a bit of an update is probably necessary.
 My brother Seth is doing very well in California, he has reconnected with some old friends, is doing a wonderful job at work, and although sometimes he has a rough day or a rough few days, for the most part he is doing really well. I miss him everday, and im saving my money to go visit next spring break!

 My grandma is doing well also...we're in week 11 in OSU medical center. She has had 5 surgeries but is finally starting to regain some health. She is on a smaller trache, and being tube fed. We are looking for a rehab facility to place her in in the next couple weeks. The Lord truly has his arms wrapped around my little peanut of a grandma, she is a fighter!

 We figured out what is wrong with my eye. Apparently i have a neurological problem, and my eyes don't work together. I can't see 3D like with the 3D glasses and so they knew that was a big problem. He looked at my eyes for a very long time and we came up with a solution that i will wear these patches on my eyes for just 1 hour each day, switching the patch on each eye each day. I was very relieved i didn't need surgery. He said it wasn't so much another eye muscle issue, but rather my eyes and my brain get confused i guess.

Like i may have mentioned a few weeks ago, i have been having a lot of difficulty with my legs. They hurt all the time, i have trouble walking, running, and they even hurt when im sitting and laying down. I went to a couple specialists and we haven't figured out what is exactly wrong yet. On wednesday i went to a rheumatologist & they decided to get a lot of bloodwork and xrays. I was really worried because they had to test for cancer and scary things. All the testing came back alright except the 2 tests that checked my kidneys. When i was really little i had trouble with my kidneys, so we have to find out monday if i need to see a specialist. We get the xray results for my legs back on monday too. I was so relieved that my white counts were okay and all that, i am a little bit worried about my kidneys but i know that it is nothing that i cannot handle. The Lord will never give me more than i can deal with, so i know everything will be okay!

 So many amazing people have been lifting me up in prayer over the past few weeks. I am just not feeling like myself, and i am anxious to feel better very soon! But thanks to everyone who has been praying!!! I feel the love. I know the Lord is in complete control, and there is no reason for me to be very afraid. He is with me ALWAYS to the very END!

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 34 - More Like Her

So my latest music obsession is miranda lambert, so here are the lyrics and link to my latest favorite song of hers!

More Like Her Video - Miranda Lambert



She's beautiful in her simple little way

She don't have too much to say when she gets mad
She understands she don't let go of anything
Even when the pain gets really bad
Guess I should've been more like that

You had it all for a pretty little while
And some how you made me smile when I was sad
You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart
Then you realized you wanted what you had
I guess I should've been more like that

I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should've been more like her

Forgiving you, she's stronger than I am
You don't look much like a man from where I'm at
It's plain to see desperation showed it's truth
You love her and she loves you with all she has
I guess I should've been more like that

I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should've been more like her

She's beautiful in her simple, little way 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day 32 - What if Trials of This Life Are YOUR Mercies in Disguise...

 I have always tried to be the most positive of people. I am the girl with the smile on her face, laughing at everything, and sometimes too happy for people to handle. But lately there has been almost just enough heartache and suprises that have made my smile turn upside down a few times. As i have said before my life verse is Psalm 46:5 " God is within her, she will not fall; He will help her at break of day." This verse is something i repeat to myself on a daily basis. Nothing could be more true of this verse. I believe everyword in it, and every meaning that it holds. This verse it what keeps me going everyday, it helps me get through the day.

 The reality is, i may not fall...but i may stumble. I know this may sound crude to many, but it is the truth. God is not going to let me out of his sight, but he is going to let me walk on my own two feet. He is going to be with me always, but that doesn't mean that my life will be perfect. Life often throws things at me, or the people around me for that matter, that i think to myself "what is the point of this?" I sit here in this big world thinking...why should people have to suffer? I totally get that it is because we live in such a fallen world, but i absolutely hate it. I hate that people go through horrible things. I hate to see my friends crying, i hate to see my family sad, i just hate when people hurt. I believe that there is always a purpose, always a reason for suffering...I believe that God does not want us to suffer, but that He allows us to suffer because it will make us a better people, suffering leads to strength. I know this from experience. I totally believe with all my heart that if i had not gone through everything i did, i would not be the same person. Everything is a growing experience, everything makes me so much stronger. I guess i think to myself that i would rather it be me than anyone else. I hate to watch people suffer, it literally makes me feel like i am gunna throw up all over...i think most people feel this way though.

 Recently i have been going through the book of James in my morning devotions, i have found that is a great book of the bible, i've read bits and pieces of it before, but i have grown to love it more. Well a few days ago i read this, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12  After i read it i just sat on my bed and felt so much peace. Ever since my brain surgery my daddy has called me "trooper" and while i would be totally embarassed and turn red in the cheeks when he would yell it down the hallways at cvca, i have grown to love it, it makes me feel special. Well, my dad doesnt call me that for no reason, it is because i have perservered, it has been a journey, there was much suffering, but i made it through, often with little complaining, mostly worrying, so now i am proud to be a trooper, haha. But in all seriousness, the verse really is incredible. 


 Also, recently i read the book HEAVEN IS FOR REAL by Todd Burpo  The story was incredible, he wrote about his son who had surgery and was around 4 at the time if i remember correctly, and he had supposedly died on the table for sometime because he remembered everything from Heaven, he saw his great grandpa who he had never met or known about, he talked to God and walked with Jesus, and could tell his parents exactly where they were sitting during the surgery because he was "watching over them." As i read the book i cried, and i thought to myself "Wow i want to go to heaven right now!" The picture seemed so clear, so perfect in everyway, i got so excited i read the whole thing in just a little over an hour. I read this in the midst of everything crazy that has been going on, and i just thought to myself how glorious it will be once i'm finally there. There will be no more Suffering, and to me, that is absolutely incredible! 

A few weeks ago I heard a song called Blessings by Laura Story, and i thought i'd share the lyrics with you...

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise



 Im sorry if this post wasn't very clear or jumped around a lot, i really have had so much on my mind that i dont know how to get it all out clearly i guess. These are just little tidbits of my brain... But thanks for reading :)

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 31 - Tired

So today i have been completely exhausted. Yesterday i had a migrane and slept for most of the day, and today came the aftermath. People who don't get migranes will never understand what one actually feels like. Well its hard to explain...but it sucks! haha but today i just still felt sick to my stomache and stuff!
and i was completely exhausted still...and still am!
So i just slept and did homework and a music test online. Then chilled tonight mostly.
Now i'm talkin to my brother about ways to better my cupcake foundation...then its off to bed
2 Classes tomorrow...then spending time with mama...then haircut! WOOO!

Love,

Shelby Elyse

Psalm 46:5

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Day 30 - Someday We'll Know

dear 3 people who actually read my blog,
 i am truly sorry that i have not written for quite some time. life in the taylor house has been quite the zoo, i often like to think of big words to describe what is going on and lets just say its been a dibockle in more than 5 ways. I think if i make bullet points of updates and then go from there it should be much much easier.

1. Grandma - She is off the vent! So that is a giant PRAISE to our Jesus! But...yea there always comes a but in our world...she is still not doing very well. There is still some kind of blockage somewhere and the past week she's been sleeping all the time and becoming more and more unresponsive...at this point more and more tests are being run, and we are all just praying for answers. I've learned a harsh reality in my life and that is called "doctors are humans too." Doctors are supposed to be the life savers, they are supposed to know the answers...but sometimes they just do not know what to do. Sometimes they don't know what is wrong or how to help. I hate it...but it is truth! So all i know is that grandma is not doing the best she could be. I think it was a week or two ago my mom said to me "well if she ever gets better it's not gunna be the same, she wont be up and cooking all the time" and it hit me like a ton of bricks...in my head i'm thinking " no mom your crazy " but in my heart i'm thinking "this can't be happening." My grandma bought me my first cookbook "Gold Medal Flour ABC'S Of Cooking" I still use it today...it's all coffee stained and drawn all over but it is very special to me...grandma instilled in me my love for baking...so imagining her not being able to cook, that is a hard pill to swallow for sure. I know God is in control. I understand that this is in his plan and that i have no control over the outcome but i just wanna scream thinking about it. I want to know if she is in pain and she cant say ... its just not fun at all anymore!!! Reality = im terrified of losing her, but i do not want her to suffer. Alright i think that's enough on that...im feeling sad i need to feel happy! CONTINUE TO PRAY!

2. Seth - He's been in California for a few weeks now and he is super duper busy all the time...but he is doing well, stressed out at times...but continuing to get all his work done and still have time to chat with me some nights...i try not to bug him too often, but hey i'm the baby sister it's my job!

3. My Eye - So i have an appointment on the 18th of May with a Surgen at Akron Children's Hospital to see if i'm going to need surgery or not. My eye seems to get worse when i'm tired or stressed...but it kinda is bothersome a lot of the time now so we need to just see what we can do!

4. College - Officially going to Akron next year...super excited for a fresh new start....also i'm sooo stoked about Elly and Jessica coming too....it's gunna just be so much fun!

Someday We'll know why bad things happen and why good things happen...but for now...i sleep :)

Alrighty, well this is all i can think of right now...i put up lyrics to one of my new favorite songs right below this post so go check it out...and the link to the video

Blessed by my Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse 


Day 30 - Heart Like Mine

So I heard this song a few days ago, and i just love it. It just seemed so real. I put the link to the video up where she explains why she wrote it and stuff before she sings it. i've learned i love country music over the past few years and now i'm addicted...so enjoy!

Heart Like Mine - Miranda Lambert

I ain’t the kind you take home to mama
I ain’t the kind to wear no ring
Somehow I always get stronger
When I’m on my second drink

Even though I hate to admit it
Sometimes I smoke cigarettes
Christian folks say I should quit it
I just smile and say “God bless”

‘Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine
And I bet we’d get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He’d understand a heart like mine

Daddy cried when he saw my tattoo
Said he’d love me anyway
My brother got the brains of the family
So I thought I’d learn to sing

‘Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine
And I bet we’d get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He’d understand a heart like mine

I’ll fly away
From it all one day
I’ll fly away

These are the days that I will remember
When my name’s called on the roll
He’ll meet me with two long-stemmed glasses
Make a toast to me coming home

‘Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine
And I bet we’d get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He’d understand a heart like mine

Oh, yes He would

Monday, April 4, 2011

Day 29 - I will rise

Been listening to the song I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin on repeat most of the morning. Its been a rough day already. I got a migrane at like 3 in the morning and couldn't fall back asleep and i kept getting the feeling i was gunna throw up but i couldnt. I had to do an online assignment for school this morning and that was no fun not feeling very good, plus the rainy day does not help. But i am trying to be in good spirits...i know the Lord has reasons for these migranes, its just that everytime i get one i just think "what if i have another brain tumor" i mean who wouldn't think straight to that after my whirlwind of a life. I find comfort in the fact that one day i will no longer have to deal with these horrible headaches. I thought i'd leave you with the lyrics to this song, they are inspiring to me.

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise



My favorite line... "And my FAITH shall be my EYES" ... that gives me chills. Knowing that one day i will be standing in front of my wonderful Heavenly Father looking at Him ... i get teary eyed thinking about how wonderful Heaven is going to be. I can't wait to be reuinited with everyone i love!

Psalm 46:5

Shelby Elyse

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Day 28 - For Mama

So my mama was just gone for a week and now she is home and i am thrilled! I missed her like crazy...so in honor of her...and yes i realize i'm not getting married and i dont have a boyfriend, but the song is still awesome :)

Mama you taught me to do the right things
So now you have to let your baby fly
You've given me everything that I will need
To make it through this crazy thing called life
And I know you watch me grow up and always want whats best for me
And I think I found the answer to your prayers

And he is good, so good
He treats your little girl like a real man should
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps 
No he's never gonna leave
So dont you worry about me
Dont you worry about me

Mama theres no way you'll ever lose me
And giving me away is not goodbye
As you watch me walk down to my future, I hope tears of joy are in your eyes

Cuz he is good, so good
He treats your little girl like a real man should
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps 
No he's never gonna leave
So dont you worry about me
Dont you worry about me

And when I watch my little baby grow I'll only want whats best for her
And I hope she'll find the answer to my prayers
And that she'll say

He is good, so good
He treats your little girl like a real man should
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps 
No he's never gonna leave
So dont you worry about me
Dont you worry about me

Mama dont you worry about me

Dont you worry about me


I love you mama!


xoxo


Shelby Elyse 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Please Pray

Please Pray for my grandma and my family today. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors and my family today, my dad, mom, and aunts are having a big meeting with my grandma's doctors today deciding the next course of action...also, please pray for healing for my grandma if that is God's will, and pray that she is not in pain. I am trying to stay positive and everything, but this whole process is beginning to weigh on all of us. I

was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I believe in Miracles, I have seen them, and I have been called one. I believe the Lord can perform a miracle and heal my grandma, if it is in His will!
Please Join me in Prayer

God Bless,

xoxo

Shelby Elyse

Who I Am...Just Me

So lately i have been really reflecting on things that i could change about myself. I think "well maybe if i say this, than that person wont hate me..." or "maybe if i wear this than that girl will want to be my friend..." well i have come to the conclusion that this is NOT a good way of thinking and NOT a good idea. I will never be anyone but me! I think it is a take it or leave it kind of thing, yes i realize that i could probably work on not being so loud and decide that i should not be such a drama queen to gain attention sometimes...yea those are flaws but they do not change who i am.
WHO I AM
I am 5 feet tall. I have brown eyes. I have the curliest hair ever. I have the BEST family. My friends are incredible. I love the LORD with all my heart. I do daiily devotions. I am writing a book. I have an obsession with looking through old picture albums. I like passion fruit tea. I love coffee. I love cheeseburgers and chicken fingers and fries. I love stir fry vegetables. I sleep with a blankie. I have never been in love. I am a Justin Biber fan. I am an aspiring baker and i hope to have a food network show one day. I love shoes. did i mention i love shoes. I have almost every letter saved that has ever been written to me. I am a brain tumor survivor. I love big bows and headbands. I like hello kitty. I like rap. I love the rain and hate the snow. I like the smell of clean laundry and cake batter. I can't wait for Heaven it is going to be wonderful. I am very spunky and you have probably never met anyone like me. I scrapbook. My name means "little rock" I believe that i am put on this earth to lead people to the Lord through unusual ways. My brother, sister, & my cousin Kellie are my Hero's. My daddy is superman. My mama is my best friend. I wonder what a rainbow looks like from Heaven. I want to be on the Ellen show sometime. I love Rachael Ray. I have small feet. Well...that is all for now.
but...
Who I AM...

JUST ME!!!!

Blessings,

Shelby Elyse

Psalm 46:5

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 27 - dont worry im alive

So i know i havent written in a couple days, i've been crazy crazy busy and have not had much time at home...i didnt even watch rachael ray today...that means im booked. haha
but tomorrow i will write about my adventures the past couple days
but please...continue to pray for a few things

1. my Grandma Taylor, really not improving, still in ICU, now she has a trache, pray for healing and then also strength for the rest of my family, this is a really rough situation.
2. Seth living in California, pray that he adjusts fine, does not become home sick and is a Light to everyone out there!
3. My eye...and finding out about surgery, i have had a headache the past couple days from it and it is really starting to bug me...
4 Chelsey, a girl i went to school with who is currently undergoing chemo for leukemia

thank you

God Bless YOU!

xoxo

Shelby Elyse ... now known as Shelbulb, Shelyse, or Arrowfoot...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day 26 - Soo stoked

Going to see Buddy tonight at the Civic Center!!!

Day 26 - Today's Song

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
- Miranda Lambert

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Day 25 - New Project!

So i'm starting an organization called Cupcakes for Cancer ... i'm going to start making cupcakes to benefit cancer research. Profits will go to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Akron Children's Hospital, Susan G Komen for the Cure, & the Make*A*Wish foundation. I am so excited to be able to do this. I have been praying about it for a very long time, and i know that is going to bring glory to God! My whole life has been one miracle after another, one answered prayer after another, and i have continued to find Beauty in every Battle. (the title of my book i talked about a few weeks ago) I think that by starting an organization like this, i will be playing a part in maybe helping people's lives me saved, and changed. Cancer research gets closer each year to finding cures, and i think it would be absolutely amazing to be able to donate money to help to find those cures. Each foundation that will be recieving money is for a reason... St. Judes in memory of my "lil bro" Ian Franklin Dolman an incredible family friend who lost his battle with brain cancer a few years ago [ i miss ya little buddy, but i know your up in heaven smilin down on me, and eating tons of crab legs!!! ] Akron Children's because they saved my life...twice! Susan G Komen in memory of my favorite teacher ever Mrs. Arnold, and in honor of my friend Corrie's mom who beat breast cancer! & the Make*A*Wish foundation because they bring so much hope to people with little left! I am starting a blog all about that separetely and if you want to get cupcakes...email me at ShelbyElyse07@gmail.com but heres the other blog ....

cupcakesforcancer2011.blogspot.com

ok well thanks for reading my ramblings....

xoxo

Shelby Elyse

Day 25 - Favorite Movie Ever

So tonight i watched Sleepless in Seattle...it is my favorite movie probably ever (yesterday my friend Zak's facebook status was of one of the songs from it, and i just couldnt get it off my mind all day...so tonight i watched it) i love that movie and You've Got Mail. Something about the pairing of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan gets me everytime. I have always wanted to name one of my daughters Annie after the character from Sleepless. Or Maggie after his wife who passed away. Ever since i was a little girl and saw the movie for the first time, i have loved Jonah...he is just soo cute...hahah i wonder what he looks like now!
The whole movie just makes you feel better. It was the perfect movie when you have the flu or if its raining, or if your just home alone watching it with your dog. Everything about it is wonderful. And the soundtrack is wonderful!

Favorite quotes: "Do you want me to say that you are really really short for your age and they shouldn't say anything because it would hurt your feelings?" ... haha i love this one because i feel like this is so me ... like i would have someone day that!

"How long have you been standing there" ... "FOREVER!" ... haha i just love when he says this!

"Jessica, this is your father. Tell us where he is, right this minute!" .... i love this cause roger ( my father ) has said this before...like "shelby i am your father" hahaha do typical dad...

‎"so your hearts are like puzzles with missing pieces, and when you get together the puzzles complete" ... i actually wrote a song knda after this quote...thats how much i love it

Favorite Songs from the Soundtrack: Bye Bye Blackbird - Joe Cocker ; Stardust - Nat King Cole ; Make Someone Happy - Jimmy Durante ; When i Fall in Love - Celine Dion & Clive Griffin

well now that all of you think i am absolutely nuts for being so obsessed, lets just end this little post and pretend i didnt just write a whole blog entry about Sleepless in Seattle

xoxo

Shelby Elyse