Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day 32 - What if Trials of This Life Are YOUR Mercies in Disguise...

 I have always tried to be the most positive of people. I am the girl with the smile on her face, laughing at everything, and sometimes too happy for people to handle. But lately there has been almost just enough heartache and suprises that have made my smile turn upside down a few times. As i have said before my life verse is Psalm 46:5 " God is within her, she will not fall; He will help her at break of day." This verse is something i repeat to myself on a daily basis. Nothing could be more true of this verse. I believe everyword in it, and every meaning that it holds. This verse it what keeps me going everyday, it helps me get through the day.

 The reality is, i may not fall...but i may stumble. I know this may sound crude to many, but it is the truth. God is not going to let me out of his sight, but he is going to let me walk on my own two feet. He is going to be with me always, but that doesn't mean that my life will be perfect. Life often throws things at me, or the people around me for that matter, that i think to myself "what is the point of this?" I sit here in this big world thinking...why should people have to suffer? I totally get that it is because we live in such a fallen world, but i absolutely hate it. I hate that people go through horrible things. I hate to see my friends crying, i hate to see my family sad, i just hate when people hurt. I believe that there is always a purpose, always a reason for suffering...I believe that God does not want us to suffer, but that He allows us to suffer because it will make us a better people, suffering leads to strength. I know this from experience. I totally believe with all my heart that if i had not gone through everything i did, i would not be the same person. Everything is a growing experience, everything makes me so much stronger. I guess i think to myself that i would rather it be me than anyone else. I hate to watch people suffer, it literally makes me feel like i am gunna throw up all over...i think most people feel this way though.

 Recently i have been going through the book of James in my morning devotions, i have found that is a great book of the bible, i've read bits and pieces of it before, but i have grown to love it more. Well a few days ago i read this, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12  After i read it i just sat on my bed and felt so much peace. Ever since my brain surgery my daddy has called me "trooper" and while i would be totally embarassed and turn red in the cheeks when he would yell it down the hallways at cvca, i have grown to love it, it makes me feel special. Well, my dad doesnt call me that for no reason, it is because i have perservered, it has been a journey, there was much suffering, but i made it through, often with little complaining, mostly worrying, so now i am proud to be a trooper, haha. But in all seriousness, the verse really is incredible. 


 Also, recently i read the book HEAVEN IS FOR REAL by Todd Burpo  The story was incredible, he wrote about his son who had surgery and was around 4 at the time if i remember correctly, and he had supposedly died on the table for sometime because he remembered everything from Heaven, he saw his great grandpa who he had never met or known about, he talked to God and walked with Jesus, and could tell his parents exactly where they were sitting during the surgery because he was "watching over them." As i read the book i cried, and i thought to myself "Wow i want to go to heaven right now!" The picture seemed so clear, so perfect in everyway, i got so excited i read the whole thing in just a little over an hour. I read this in the midst of everything crazy that has been going on, and i just thought to myself how glorious it will be once i'm finally there. There will be no more Suffering, and to me, that is absolutely incredible! 

A few weeks ago I heard a song called Blessings by Laura Story, and i thought i'd share the lyrics with you...

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise



 Im sorry if this post wasn't very clear or jumped around a lot, i really have had so much on my mind that i dont know how to get it all out clearly i guess. These are just little tidbits of my brain... But thanks for reading :)

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse

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