Wednesday, September 25, 2013

"aslan" said lucy "you're bigger."

"Aslan" said Lucy "You're bigger"
"that is because you are older little one." answered He
"not because You are?"
"I am not. but every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
 - C.S. Lewis

the past weeks have been exhausting. emotionally and physically. doctor appointments. bloodwork. school and homework seem to have filled my time. and a mini trip to nyc which i will have to tell you all about. the Lord has been working in my heart so much though. He has given me strength to be brave, honest, and push through. I think monday i cried about everything for the first time in a long time. and if you know me. you are shocked. i always cry. but not lately. well i mean not until the last 36 hours. i've been crazy. haha. i think if we're being real here, i've just been stressed about a bunch of things, and it all hit me at once.

[ i get more bloodwork friday, mom is going with me, they think my platelets are having trouble working. like they are fine in numbers but the hemotologist told me monday that it is about quality not quanity. when he saw my legs and the number of bruises on them he literally said "oh my gosh." so we shall see. yesterday Jordyn said "i dont worry about you anymore, God has brought you through so much, if you need platelets we'll get you some platelets." i love her for this. i hadn't thought of it this way. i'm thankful for her positivity. ]

but then came yesterday. encouraging verse by encouraging verse filled my text message inbox. and some from friends who don't even know i've had a stressful last few weeks. a few phone calls from beautiful friends and my amazing sister brightened my afternoon. and then something i am still in shock about.

my cousin joshua sent me a message that read this. I had a dream last night about you. In the dream you were standing in front of a big wall. You looked at it and were sad. You said you knew par core, But you could not get to the top. Then I put you on my shoulders but you still could not climb over. So we sat with our backs too the wall frustrated. Then I looked up and and there was Aslan from Narnia. He walked up and stood about 5 feet from the wall. We walked towards him and he started talking to you and it sounded like growling to me. He then looked at the wall and you turned climbed on top of him and he and you walked through the wall. I'm not sure what's up but don't worry. Even if you feel your back is to the wall. Jesus will carry you through.

oh my goodness. as you can imagine. tears started streaming down my face. i'm telling you, i'm just in awe. God is just so neat. literally coolest dream i've ever been part of. i wish i was in it with him. after reading that i talked with mom and i'm just feeling so much peace. about everything. school. life. health. just like He has always done, the Lord is with me, and He is fighting for me. by the way. my cousin didn't even know i have been having a rough time when he had the dream!

i find that sometimes i am really good at pretending everything is all good all the time. but you know. sometimes life is rough. and sometimes you just gotta admit to it. and sometimes, you just gotta be brave. brave for me is hard most days. but this week i am choosing it. and choosing to trust.

s/o to my sista-frans for being so great the past few days. jordyn, jenna, nina, nikki, elly and eva ... don't know what i'd do without you. and mama, dad, seth & everyone praying.

please pray the bloodwork friday shows whats up. i find peace in knowing God is in control as usual. and like my beautiful and brilliant sissy said "He's brought you through everything else, you are going to be fine." AMEN and AMEN

i love you all.

BLESSED by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

22 years and 2 months old.

today is a beautiful day.

today i am 22 years and 2 months old.

today may seem unimportant to you, but today for me is a miracle.

today i am reminded once again that the Lord will NEVER leave or forsake.

today the verse "For NOTHING is impossible with God." rings truer than ever.

today i am small. but not too small.

today i have defied every odd.

"they" said i would never make it to today.

but HE already knew about today.

july 18,1991. august 18, 1991. september 18,1991

first time they held me. september 1991.
a very special letter.

may you be reminded today also, of the miraculous power of our Lord.

HE is present, yesterday, TODAY and tomorrow.

[those that glorify God must be prepared to meet with many trials. no one can be illustrious before the Lord unless their conflicts are many. if yours is a much tried path then rejoice in it, because you will be better able to display the all-sufficient grace of God. as for His failing you, never dream of it! the God that has been sufficient until now should be trusted to the end!] 
  - john hagee

i love you all. this life is more beautiful with people standing by my side. 

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse 

Friday, September 13, 2013

my words are few

i have not written in so long.

there is not much to say. i do not want to just simply write as an act. it has to mean something.

today will be short. just like me.

my heart has been heavy, and i have been anxious. school is proving to be difficult and i feel like i'm either at school, doing homework or sleeping. i've been having lots of headaches, because i'm stressed and not on meds. thats not cool. but i'll be alright.

a few updates...which break my heart.

just a week and a half ago, my friend Allie went home to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus! i have mentioned her many times on the blog. she courageously battle leukemia for the past year and a half. please pray for her family. her amazingly strong husband and three young daughters. most days i still find that my tears fall. i tell my parents that i still feel shocked, because i was praying so strongly for a miracle. but i am reminded by one of my favorite quotes that "maybe the miracle was even getting to know her." i find peace in that, and i have hope and faith that i will see her again in Heaven. what a wonderful gift to look forward to. i wrote in my journal just days after her passing that if i could have faith like allie & strength like adam her husband, then i will be more than set. i have never seen anything like it.

secondly, a friend of the family passed away just yesterday. he graduated with my sister. my heart aches for his family, but again, we will see him again. his name was Josh.

thirdly, and not so heart wrenching. this week is my "things are a little bit odd" week which comes around every 6 months. and this time its accompanied by about a billion and seven bruises. okay i exaggerated. maybe just a billion. haha! but anyways i got labs done on monday, things looked normal. i went to the doc today and she ordered lots more, and set me up with hemotology. now dont panic. its just a word. but please be praying for these results, and that we can get to the bottom of this. and not to be too graphic, but i also have a lot of unexplained mouth sores, and they are pretty painful. and hopefully some of this bloodwork will figure that out too.

wow. i said my words would be few. i guess thats impossible when i share the same genetics with Roger Taylor hahah...sorry dad. another thing you taught me was HONESTY!

i love you all.

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse