Wednesday, May 21, 2014

when i said i'd write a book one day...

when i said i'd write a book one day...

i figured it'd be my autobiography. i have bits and pieces typed up in word documents and written down in journals for it. i have beginnings of chapters, middles and ends, but when i sit down to compile and write the missing parts i never can do it.

i think it's because my story isn't finished yet. but one day i will write it all down. i promise you that. and if i don't have the chance i hope one of the beautiful people i love here on this earth will do it for me. one of the ones who knows me well. but i plan on being here.

when i said i'd write a book one day...

this is not what i had in mind. in fact. i'm still shocked the idea even came to my mind. but i truly believe it was an idea from God.

i have begun to write a children's book series. fairy-tale like chronices of kids who are sick, have been sick, or are now in heaven because they couldn't beat the sickness.

this may sound morbid to some, or you might be confused. or you might, like mama t, think "she is a genius."

i'm okay with all of these. but hear me out.

this is needed. when i got the idea one night i knew it had to be from the Lord. and then i sat and wished they already existed. i think they would have helped me a whole lot growing up. as the ideas began to flood my mind i started brain storming. everything i wrote i thought "i wish someone had told me this."

i wish my brother and sister had books to read about their baby sister being sick when i was born. i think that would have helped them. i wish i would have had a book about a heart murmur and why my heart beat funny. i wish i had one about the eye doctor and why i needed eye surgery after eye surgery and why my eyes still weren't perfect. i wish i had a fairytale book that told beautiful stories about kids like me, so i didn't feel so different. i wish i had one about needing shots to grow or needing blood drawn. i wish i had one about a kid just like me who had bronchitiis, pneumonia, strep, the flu, and every other sickness that has haunted me multiple times every year because of my bad immune system. i wish i had a story about a little girl who had the same genetic disorder i do. i wish i could have opened a book to a world where a princess beat a brain tumor. i wish i could have been read a story about a mini warrior who fought for her life and won. i wish i could have had a book about a brave pirate who had a horrible monster grow in his head to give to our precious friend ian. i wish that when i got diagnosis after diagnosis and the doctors were sitting there using huge words that a nice lady would have sat down next to me and handed me a storybook about a little kid, just like me going through the same stuff.

but that never happened. none of it ever happened. i wish it would have. i think i would have coped differently.

i've only recently been dealing with the after effects of all my health problems. the emotional and psychological parts of everything have caught up with me. just within the last 6 months or so. the anxiety attacks have set in and i am trying to figure out why. why has it begun now. i'm not sure. but i think a book series like this could impact little ones. maybe they won't feel so alone. because "amazing alexander has an angry appendix." and if he can get through it so can anyone. and if "courageous callie conquers cystic fibrosis" then maybe another kid will fight harder.

my hope is that a series of books like this will help the little ones deal with the psychological and emotional parts of being sick alongside the physical. so that they aren't having flashbacks to test after test when they were 9, when they are about to turn 23. because believe me, it is not fun.

i have pages and pages of brainstorming. everything from chicken pox to cancer to check ups to getting your teeth cleaned. the stories will all feature a tiny hero facing an ordeal. my dream is to have pj's and blankets and anything else needed for the hospital to go with the books. my dream is that any kid going through something will have a storybook friend they can relate to. my dream is for a 5 year old to say to her mom "if tallulah is brave enough to get her tonsils out, i can do it too!!!" i dream of this being way more than stories. i dream of this changing peoples lives.

there will be realistic stories too. there won't always be a "and then he got all better" at the end, because that isn't always the outcome. i have to be real. there will be a story about losing a parent. stories about coping with the loss of a friend and much more. i have no idea how many will be in the series. my ideas keep coming. i have a color palate in my brain and ideas of what i want the characters to look like. i have pages of illnesses and children's names. other things i want to produce to go along with the stories and much more. i might be small, but i don't dream small people. i dream huge.

i have a lot of writing to do. this summer will be spent watching children, taking online classes and writing as much as i can. i hope to find a literary agent within the next few months to get the ball rolling.

if you know anyone holla at yo girl.

please be praying for this new journey of mine. above anything else, my dream is that these stories will be filled with hope and joy and that God would be glorified.

as you know if you follow this blog i have no problem writing. but my writing is so autobiographical. this will be a new journey. i have to be careful to not just express my own emotions the whole time. i hope i can do this well. i hope this idea can come to life.

well. thanks for reading.

also. if this is your first time visiting the blog. like always. please feel free to go back and read parts of my journey. and pass it on.

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy

Shelby Elyse Taylor

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