Stories of my July...

hi people.

i'm still here. like on the blog. blogging. i didnt mean it was a possibility i wasn't alive anymore. okay. here we go.

JULY is my FAVORITE month of the whole year. especially this year.

it has been magical.

i have seen almost all my favorite people on this earth. and the ones i haven't seen. i will see before the month is over. hopefully. well i mean actually that is incorrect. because a handful of my favorites are in other states and i wont see them. so lets just say. i've seen a pretty good amount.

FIRST of all. i realized i haven't posted since my dramatic worry post about my MRI. well. it went alright. no tumor growth!!! my neurooncologist told me i have a beautiful brain and i need to come back in 6th months. i'm okay with this. dad went with me, and an epic thing happened. he didn't even faint. but i...uhhh...i did. lets just say there was an IV malfunction and i had an empty stomach. but i'm thankful my tumor is stable. oh and i'm also thankful that my nurse is crazy and italian and hilarious. because normally doctor appts about brain tumors are not cool. but she makes it like half cool...kinda like eric matthews on boy meets world. he wasn't as geeky as minkus, but he for sure was no sean hunter. just half cool.

okay back to JULY.

well it started with a vacation to my favorite place in the history of the world. sunset beach. north carolina. it was my 21st year there. no other place holds the memories it does. this year jordyn and seth couldn't come. so it was me, a handful of cousins, their husbands, significant others, best friends, and oh! one of my best friends chad who i hadn't seen in 2 years stopped by for a few days! lets just say. sunset was a good time fo sho.

meet chaditude 

my favorite cousin kellie 

my cousin caleb. his shirt was great.

a big big beach

my cousin cassidy 

then when i got home...SETH CAME HOME! & so did Keith. 2 of my favorite people in the whole world! fun fact:: they lived together in s.c. for a year, and now they both live in california. second fun fact:: after 6 years of asking, keith finally gave me his phone number. hahaha trust me people. this was big. and i've done a dang good job and only texted him 1 time since i got it. oh and i sent him pics but that didn't count.

BROS

so thankful to have such good brothers

NEXT! me and sethy went to the ALEX GOOT concert. and i mean you probably have no idea who that is and i'm totally okay with that. long story short me and seth found his video on the ellen degeneres website long ago and since then goot has become crazy popular. it was nice to spend such a memorable an evening with my big brother. i know sometimes i drive him absolutely crazy and he thinks i'm too sassy and need to chill out. but really sethy is the best brother in the whole world, so whenever he is home is a party.  i really cherish the times we get to be together. some people aren't so lucky.

GOOT

THEN! GUYS IM FREAKING OUT. SO GET THIS.

so on wednesday july 17th. the day before my birthday i find out at 5:30PM i have free tickets to the TRAIN concert. and not only train. but gavin degraw. and the script. and some girl who sang with train. she was odd though guys. her song was called weed over roses. and i'm forreal dead serious. oh! and also! i went with my friend Rachel! LOVE HER! oh and also! we sat with britty and becca! SO FUN! 

me and rach. i should have done the skinny arm post

the girls 

TRAIN 

so after the concert me and rach went to steak and shake for a midnight milkshake becuase you know...it was...

JULY 18th!

my favoritest day of the whole year. also people. when i tried to type 18th i accidentally was holding down shift and it said !*TH and im glad i caught it cause i didnt want it to seem like i was swearing. which you know never happens...uhhh....okay moving on. wow. i'm being dreadfully honest. ANYWAY! MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 22! 

i think i played the t-swift song so many times seth thought he was going to have to steal my computer and iphone. and to all the people who got all my videos i'm just i'm so sorry. anyways. i got some pretty neat toms. and was feeling like a hipster. 

kids sizes are cheaper. take note small feeted people like myself.

im 22.  

happy free confused and lonely in the best way

LASTLY...for this post because july isn't over and part 2 will come soon enough. MY BROTHA FROM ANOTHA MOTHA CAME TO TOWN!!!

brotheRome in the house!!!

Okay peace y'all. I'll write soon. 

xoxo

Shelby Elyse 

i'm never ready.

it's time again.

 

i feel as though these 6 months passed too quickly. 

i'm not ready.  i'm never ready. 

but here we are. it's 2 days away. 

MRI & NeuroOncology Appt. is scheduled for Wednesday morning. 

prayers would be appreciated.

1. for strength. these never get easier. i am always left exhausted emotionally and physically.

2. to praise the Lord no matter the outcome. i have NOT been having symptoms, but i also do not know the future. and i need to remember Who is in control & that He wont leave me no matter what. 

3. dad is going with me instead of mom. this needs the most prayers. hahah! lets just say sometimes i have a "fainting dad" ... don't get me wrong. i love the "doc" but God did not create him to do well around other docs. 

4. to be a light. it's always hard on days like the one coming. but i still need to try to have a Christ-like attitude and stay positive. 

5. and last but not least. please be praying for NO tumor growth or new growth. AND please be praying we can go back to yearly scans, this 6 month thing leaves much room for extra anxiety! 

okay that is all i have. just please be praying. 

i love you all & am forever thankful for praying friends and family.

BLESSED by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse 

[You've never failed and You won't start now. ]

imagine this::
 i walk into a room and sit down for a meeting with a lady i've never met before. she is cold as ice. i start pouring out my heart and the reasons i want to be a child life specialist. she doesn't care. i begin to pray silently as she speaks. she tells me that "maybe you aren't supposed to work in a hospital. maybe you just like kids." i can't wrap my mind around it. why isn't she listening to me. i just dont understand. i tell her "no you are misunderstanding me. i'm supposed to do this." i leave with tears streaming down my face. i felt completely defeated. and i just say to God "i thought this was what You had planned for me. what now?"

and then it hits me. probably 20 people or more were praying for that meeting. so that was His answer. He has a different plan.

maybe i am supposed to do this but not right now. because why on earth would i want to be in a program with someone like that above me. this lady had no compassion towards me. she put me down, was not supportive, and my mind was blown. and if i'm being totally honest, this was an extrememly nice way of putting it all. so maybe this was God's way of saying "not now Shelby...just trust Me."

so here we are people. back to square one. i've talked with dad and mama for hours. called jordyn and seth. talked to my best friends. and sat on my bed and prayed and prayed and read through my devotionals and bible for the past 4 days. i know it doesn't seem long. but trust me it's been freaking long. i've sat and listened to worship music with tears in my eyes just asking God to lead me where He wants me.

He has made it very clear to me, and mom and dad, and a few others what the new plan is.

okay...since i'm A.D.D. we misewell throw in some random information::::

the past 4 days the titles of my devotions have been...

1. don't be so hard on yourself
2. do not resist or run from the difficulties of your life
3. thank me for your problems
4. trust me in the midst of the crucible

like okay God i am totally listening. 

so heres the plan.

MAJOR CHANGE: literally

i will graduate (late) with a bachelors in child and family development and a culinary minor.
then i will (sometime in the undetermined future) go to grad school for child life.

but not at Akron...unless His plan changes again.

(or unless cruella deville leaves.)

so i'll probably go get a job at a supercool place like *Make*A*Wish* or Give Kids the World or something of that supercool status with adorable children.
but for now this is the new plan.
i'm finding much peace in my decision.

[[i'm posting a song below that has gotten me through the past few days. the words are pure and lovely. listen.]]

i love you all. thanks for continuing to pray for me as i live out this beautiful battle of life.


Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse

p.s. May is pediatric brain tumor awareness month. & my MRI is next wednesday so please 

be praying for no growth! & heres to hoping we go back to yearly scans.