Sunday, January 27, 2013

an anxious heart

my weekend was full. of friends, family, and favorite things. cookies were baked, there was much laughter i felt blessed. i had bible study with some of my favorite girls, and movie nights with friends i've had for 16+ years. i didnt cry once.

quiet time with the Lord, cereal, and nicholas sparks movies and music consumed my sunday. homework was finished, i took a nap. i had breakfast for dinner. still favorites.

but today i cried. just once. mom and dad were both gone. i got an overwhelming feeling. my heart is anxious. it's been 9 days since i had bloodwork. they said some of the tests would take awhile to get back. i am not a very patient person. i've learned this quickly over the past week. everyone has celebrated the rise in my numbers. i have as well. but until every test comes back with positive results, my heart can't rest.

i know you are all thinking of the bible verse. "do not be anxious about anything..." yeah well i've gotta say, it's much easier said than done. my heart is anxious. i'm just being honest. im not looking for sympathy. im simply speaking the truth.

i think often times i put on the bravest face possible. i say im good. i try to encourage others that i'm gunna be just fine. but today im not feeling too brave. so i wait. i pray. i trust. and i really hope that tomorrow we get the rest of the test results.

so while tonight my heart is anxious. tomorrow i hope it's not.

good news:: i've been off migraine meds for 3 weeks, and i've only had 1 migraine!

"You have come this far. DON'T give up now." - Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)

i love you all. thanks for the continued prayers. God is good!

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse

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