Sunday, February 17, 2013

the snowman.

it's sunday. it's snowing.

i spent most of the day sitting in my room. watching the snow. lots on my mind. writing. reading. writing more. flooded with ideas. the snow is falling faster. i look out my window, see the blizzard. and then i remember it. the drawing. the snowman drawing. he drew it 6 years ago. 6 years. thats long. i miss him.

i grab my memory box out of my closet. i find it. the pile of drawings. and i find the snowman. this drawing, it inspired a whole line of Christmas stuff for St. Judes Children's Research Hospital. he was an artist. he was 7. his name was Ian.

the last day i saw him. it was a day similar to today. it was 2007. i went to school with mom because we had a teachers in service. when i got there. he wasn't there. i was so sad. i was so looking forward to spending the day with the little guy. he came late. i was over the moon. we laughed and laughed that day. it was january. we shared rocknes cheese burgers and fries. and then he ate a whole tray of bagel bites. this might be why i love rocknes so much. i'm not sure.

i went to his kindergarten class. we laughed and laughed. he sat in his special giant comfy chair. he was tired. i could see it in his eyes. his crossed eyes. we walked down the hall to get my mom. i remember he tripped. i held his hand. he laughed and said "my dumb tumor makes me trip somedays." i remember the day so well. his laugh had me in tears. he was soo hungry. we ate everything we could find. his mom came to get him. i hugged him goodbye.

never did i realize that would be the last day i laughed with him. the last hug i gave him. and that goodbye meant "i'll see you in heaven"

so the snow. it makes me miss little man. the artist. the comedian. it makes me miss ian.

some days i find myself feeling guilty. why did he have to die and why do i get to live. that little boy lit up rooms of people. he was incredible. i believe he was too special for this earth. the Lord needed Ian to be a light in heaven. but days like today. in the blizzard. i miss the kid. so much. he would love his little sisters.

i can't wait to see you again soon little dude. tell jesus hi for me. thanks for the snow.

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse

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