Friday, February 8, 2013

when the battles raging YOU'RE fighting for me.

i have been told i am strong my whole life. i was born fighting for my life. my name means "little rock." my dad calls me "trooper." everyone tells me i am strong. recently one of my friends called me a "soldier." but i think everyone might be wrong. i think there is a difference between being strong and being brave. i am not strong. i would however describe myself as brave.

but brave. what does that mean exactly? well. merriam-webster describes it as "ready to face and endure pain or danger; showing courage." now this. this is something that i may be. but does ready to face pain and showing courage through that pain make me strong? i'm just not sure. i know i really don't have a choice, i have learned very quickly that if you give up on your body, it will give up on you. i don't have a choice in these battles though. i can't tell my body to start producing more blood cells. or tell my tumor not to grow. that is just not how it works. so i have to be brave. but i believe my strength is found in the Lord my God. HE fights my battles. HE carries me. it is HIM. and while i am so grateful that so many of you think i am strong. i just had to be honest. it's just. it's not me. 

moving on. 

today was an anatomy test, apples, and answered prayers. today was frozen yogurt. friends. and fuzzy blankets. today was music. memories. and making dinner with mom. today was a good day. 

this little blog does amazing things sometimes. today one of those things happened. every time i post a blog, i post it to my twitter. and usually simply put the link with the word "read." simple enough right? hoping that maybe someone just one will click and read. well this morning i woke up and realized that someone had favorited my link. his name was kurt finney. i clicked. and holy cannoli. he's an actor. he stars in a show i watch online sometimes called "massholes" yeah. thats the name. excuse my french. so anyways. he just happens to be friends with one of my favorite people the star of footloose kenny wormald. so anyways. i tweet him and i get a reply. he read my blog. oh my goodness how crazy! so i'm giving him a shoutout tonight. hoping that he will continue to read, share, be inspired, and maybe more people will read and be inspired. who knows. okay by the way. his twitter bio says ( i love dinosaurs and meatball subs. ) i mean come on. i want to be his friend.

so, health update.

we are still waiting for labs. please continue to pray that my white count continues to rise. i am so thankful for all the prayers i have recieved the past month on this new crazy journey. fingers crossed i wont have to have labs drawn for a few months. but we wait and see. the Lord has a perfect plan. i am just waiting to see what it is. trusting. i'm not feeling awesome this week, but i think i'm just run down. hoping to get some much needed R&R this weekend.

prayer request:: please continue to pray for my friend Allie. she is in Texas now to get new treatment hoping to beat this cancer. please pray for her and Adam as they are there. but also for the girls. they are here in Ohio, pray for the adjustment, pray for healing. 

oh. and incase you were wondering. my offer to find a valentines date is still open. no eligible bachelors have responded. please see yesterday's post for official entry rules. hahaha. im just kidding dad. dont worry. 

okay. i'm out. i'm actually exhausted tonight. i'm posting one of my favorite worship songs below. so listen. 

[ You hide me in your wings and carry all my fears and worries. You lift the lowely. You wrap me in Your arms of safety. when the battles raging You're fighting for me. even when i'm walking through the valley of death. even when i'm broken and nothing is left. You lead me on. You lead me on. so i'll pour my tears in the ocean, and i'll leave my pain by the shore, and with a MIGHTY WAVE You'll sweep them away, till they are no more. Theres freedom from my past and theres HOPE in my future. You are my today and You are my forever!!! ] 
    - sarah reeves 

i love you all. 

Blessed by a Heavenly Daddy,

Shelby Elyse 

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